// And we don't know how, how we got into this mad situation

Only doing things out of frustration.

But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine

sit talking up all night
saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah //

feeling very melancholic.
hoping it's really just pms but unlikely cause it's been awhile for quite a bit? don't know man sigh, hate this unsure feeling. idek if it's better to know the reason why I'm upset or not.

cant believe I didn't blog during recess week. this laziness thing is really getting to me manzxc cant take it. I wonder if blogging makes a difference but I guess it's just gives me space to share my feelings.

just a short summary of my recess week perhaps?

Monday: went back to DHS for results. really feels good to be home, altho there weren't many friends who went back but I guess the feeling of being home feels really amazing? missing DHS so much these days, wonder if it's the uni effect. but idk perhaps it's cause I spent 6 years being in such a nurturing environment it's really hard to be independent? aishhh. in summary I guess I really really love home :') cant wait to head back after finals!

Tuesday: spent the day at Sab's with the clique, making army stew and chilling. love her dogs and chinchillas! and we played cards and mahjong until I had to leave at 7! my first time eating army stew and I think the homemade one really isn't bad eh! shall try to make it sometime soon :)

Wednesday: met half the gang for b/fast before heading for driving! yay quite happy w my progress w driving and I think I can book my test soon? heading towards my aim of getting my license before year 2 starts :) lunched w bro and then we went to watch abtm3! it's a great movie honestly, much better than the first 2 which were already not bad. then had family dinner so overall it was a great day :)

Thursday: mum and bro went to bkk then I just spent the day at home w daddy until about dinner time. then he went out for dinner w his pri sch classmates, and I went for Popeyes with Chingz! time with Chingz is always great, therapeutic and reflective. love those long talks w her about everything and anything, and it's really a time I can bare my heart and talk deep. thanks babe, altho problems aren't solved, it helps to know someone feel the way I do! will always be supporting you :)

Friday: wokeup at 1230 pm when I received Laura's text that we're supposed to meet from 2-5pm literally flew out of my bed. still feeling extremely apologetic about forgetting the date, but thankfully still spent a quality 3 hours with that girl. she told me how I've changed into someone who isn't as happy as I used to be, my voice no longer had a light-hearted tone, no longer sounded carefree, no longer felt genuinely happy. perhaps, I started to wonder why but I mean it's a huge variety of factors I cant pinpoint why or what it really is. just gotta learn to appreciate more each day :)

Saturday: SEAG training at JE SRC for the whole day. I swear that day was patience testing because of insomnia and long travelling and long training. appreciative of the friends I've made, the things I'm able to do to make myself feel better. and I'm also really thankful for the people who made things so much  more bearable. went to chill w the DOTA peeps at JEM for a little while before travelling back for dinner w daddy at ikea! :)

Sunday: lunched with Yuping in Tamp and had a few hours w her, just catching up and talking to her about her options based on her results, really hope that everything goes well and to her happiness. can't bear to see people suffering the same way I did after results. doubt you'd ever read this but no matter how you did I'm still proud of you for surviving!

week 8.

finished up EHS and Accounting mid-terms and came home on Wednesday night because daddy could pick me :) so happy to come home always, especially to the best home-cooked food by mummy! not forgetting the loots from bkk from mummy and bro, seriously idk they go holiday or I go holiday LOL so blessed :') bff came over to scan stuff and ended up nua-ing over here for 2 hours plus. didn't do or talk much but it's always nice to have her company heh much loves <3

wokeup at freaking 630am to ball w Darrel on Thursday I swear that guy is outta his mind (but I'm pretty much outta mine too, to agree). balled for 2 hours or so, felt like dying after that seriously when he's on a crazy training mode I'm never spared T.T it's good but woah I nearly died w/o breakfast. arms and legs were aching for 2 days straight. I've really missed you, sigh. 

my afternoon plans got cancelled and I got really upset. ended up joining Qianyun and Quanhao for movie at Plaza Sing! caught Dragon Blade which was really good, and I think heart wrenching would be a better word to use than touching hahaha. was craving badly for some alone time so I went to that old place for my usual vanilla latte. somehow it just helps being alone, but I was just staring into space then I ended up taking my lab report to do LOL #workaholic

went back to hall to nua for an hour before meeting the guys for fuse to support Eli! really no regrets going for fuse, the music and atmosphere really took my bad mood away and I'm thankful for the company from the guys!

met Yvonne on Friday finally for our catch-up session in town! can't wait for the next time I meet w the team again :) really wanna go back to DHS for basketball it's been ages since I went back for that.

ystd was just study > ball > dinner w fam > supper w the gang. my weekends are pretty much the same LOL but still feels good I guess :) gonna miss them quite a bit when I confine myself in hall for 3 weeks during finals aishhh. summer hols in 2 months, cant wait! :)

sick and tired of tryna please the world so I've decided that from now on, I'll please myself first.