timecheck: 2AM. 

sitting here 12 hours before the As results are released. 
in the past day I've gone from feeling nothing to being scared shitless to feeling nothing again.
well, all's been done and even the best prayers wont change anything now.

just a quick update about my life thus far.
so as some of my friends may know i'm working part time at Subway when I have nothing better to do. yeah, because the pay is rather reasonable and well, kill time lor.
it's not like I can get a job which I can learn a whole lot about at this point in time.
(really hoping my results can change this though)

and I spent 10-17Feb doing a really meaningful and fulfilling job! :)
working under SaLT Solution as a facilitator for the SKM Friend of Singa workshop.
wont say it was a smooth experience, there were setbacks like uhm, 
losing my voice after the first day, horrible group on 13feb, losing logistics, mixed up feelings and hangover.
AND I GOT REJECTED BY THE BLOOD BANK ON VDAY MEH.
but i'm thankful for the team of facilitators, mostly from DHS altho I have never really interacted w many of you before i'm so thankful that I made friends w you guys after graduation and the chemistry we had was really unexplainable because we became real chummy really quickly.
not to forget the pooling gang and the 745am free MRT gang and the teoheng gang :B

I guess that week changed my entire stance pretty much. 
I began to look at things in a different way, began to appreciate manymany things in my life.
I know that things never always go in the way we want them to, and more often than not, things screw up. 
but it's really alright. there's always people around to guide me to the light and show me the beauty of the other side of the world. 
nothing's perfect really. like how I allowed myself to derive false happiness for a moment. but it's really alright. because I've learnt. 

looking at the kids make me feel really unsettled. I mean esp those primary school kids, theyre just little souls who havent been broken, havent been exposed to reality. 
will they hate the elders for not telling them how harsh the world is and what they'd be facing in about 10 years time? 
bless those little souls, I wish that noone would ever have to grow up harshly. but that'll never be possible.

as of now i'm just really thankful that I have so many people around me to brave this w me. nothing will ever be possible w/o all these lovelies and for one way or another i'm really grateful.
"there'll definitely be someone who's more deserving" -- such a harsh statement but i'm still thankful :')