sometimes I wanna call you, but I know you won't be there.

^ this.
is me right now.

feeling majorly fked because I had a fall on Friday. even though it was on my side and my hip bone hurt a little after the fall (not anymore), I think the more serious thing is that it triggered the slipped disc again? I thought I was lucky cause I didnt fall on my butt but no, life doesnt work this way );

the pain doesnt feel like it's gonna go away very soon, so I finally got down to making an appointment after finals. major sigh. like 99.99% of me doesnt wanna go to the doctor's because well, I'm just afraid of being told I cant ball anymore. for real. 

but from now till finals end, it's just gonna be tape, salonpas and gritting my teeth to endure this. 12 days to go, come on Mel you can do this.

sometimes I wonder why I let ball be such a big part of my life. but, it already is, cant help it.

I wish you'd care more.