i never knew how bad things was until today.
i realized i really misunderstood. 
i thought too much, and i really had the heart over mind mentality.
i should never have given up a 4th time.


regrets, disappointment, heartache overwhelms.
all because of? misunderstandings.
i thought so, i really did. like from the bottom of my heart.
everything felt right. until this.


thought i was thinking too much but thanks for making everything clear to me today.
dont know how i'm gonna actually tide thru all these.
already thinking of a way out, dont think i'll make much progress tho.
never knew such things could change everything so much.


i gave up my dream for something so surreal. 
gave it up because i believed in something so surreal.
perhaps this was a just a facade, that i got badly cheated by.
how do i know who can i count on anymore?


everyone who was in touch with my dilemma some while ago wouldve known.
known so well that it was always my heart that ruled.
no matter how much my mind tried, it always fails.
but then again, my heart disappoints me all the time. 
so the saying goes "love is blind" - letting my heart rule made me blind.


f-ing discouraged now. 
dont even know how i'm gonna carry on from this point.